I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize