this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
