Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
