he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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