just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
