she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
