I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize