I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
