You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
