when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
