Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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