living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
