is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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