D3 body, D1 cock
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
