Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
