I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
