Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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