My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...