Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE