Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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(808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae

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(714): View more from California

OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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(714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign http://tfl.nu/7urn

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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(401): I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls. http://tfl.nu/rm2y

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(815): View more from Illinois

We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...

(847): View more from Illinois

And they lived happily ever after....

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(815): We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal... (847): And they lived happily ever after.... http://tfl.nu/htue

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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(407): I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care. http://tfl.nu/n9k1

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter

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(918): The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/j5l8

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.

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(306): We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love. http://tfl.nu/cwg6

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you

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(717): When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you http://tfl.nu/09i6

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.

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(864): Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you. http://tfl.nu/wybw

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(310): View more from California

Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?

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(310): Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic? http://tfl.nu/rudq

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day

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(808): I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day http://tfl.nu/wum7

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(260): View more from Indiana

Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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(260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf

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(901): View more from Tennessee

oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.

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(901): oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home. http://tfl.nu/ixn7

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(358): View more from

I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.

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(358): I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack. http://tfl.nu/ybt1

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.

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(214): I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this. http://tfl.nu/v16y

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