Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out