Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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