And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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