Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
