Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
