I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
