then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
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It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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