At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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