he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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