he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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