Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
