Non-Jews are for practice
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize