I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
