it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize