I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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