I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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