it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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