I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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