Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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