She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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