I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
