she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
