As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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