I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
