No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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