I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Im part way to drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
