I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
