I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
