I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
