My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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