Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
