I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
