if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
