It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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