Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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