i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
