You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
