if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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