i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
