Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize