I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
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I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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