My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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