Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
